72322

Joke of the Day

"Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town"

"A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions. It might be an outdated study though."

"Don't judge me for my race, don't judge me for my gender. Judge me because I've read all four of the Twilight books."

"Studies have shown that smokers are 97% more likely than non-smokers... to walk out on their families."

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it... We went out and had drinks. Cool guy, he wants to be a web designer."

"*becomes suddenly aware of the overwhelming amount of beauty and horror in the world and the brief second in time we exist on it* what the"

"Did you hear about that golfer who sang a song every time he hit a wayward ball? They say he made a fore tune!"

"If at first you don't succeed, GREAT. Now you know not to waste your time on that ever again. Fuck that shit. Lesson learned."

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."