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Joke of the Day

"*discovering flying dinosaur* PALEONTOLOGIST: We'll call it pterodactyl, for ""wing fingers"" ME: *crumples up note that says skynosaur*"

"What is small furry and brilliant at sword fights ? A mouseketeer !"

"How do you spot the blind man at the nudist beach? It's not hard"

"Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon? Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4."

"tifu by getting inside someone else's underwater vessel Whoops, wrong sub"

"Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean."

"My grandfather once told me 'When i was your age, I thought I was going to be 10 all my life too. So I said 'And when I was your age, I didn't believe in reincarnation either'."

"Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, and Pitbull walk into a bar. Drake ducks."

"Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. ""Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million,"" he told sources"

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"