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Joke of the Day
"Where do you find a man with an aquatic mammal fetish? In Wales."
Next Joke
"Offensive middle eastern joke. What do you call an arab who wants to be European yet keeps practicing his beloved religion, islam? A turk."
"Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that."
"After exercising and eating right all week on Saturday I'm like the Kool-Aid man running into Chipotle."
"I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs."
"Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised."
"What do you call a letter written by a feminist? Hate male"
"[On a date] Date: So what do you do? Me: I'm a taxidermist Date: Oh... wow. Fox: And a ventriloquist"
"what idiot called it a chicken instead of an eggplant"
"I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well we had to you know she was dead."