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Joke of the Day

"A giraffe was at an airport security check line. The security guy asked ""Is that your laptop?"". The giraffe replied ""I thought you would never ask."""

"hey it's me, the girl who just googled ""chemistry alphabet"" when i meant ""periodic table"""

"A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one"

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike .. my dad was holding me from behind .."

"Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here."

"My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head."

"I've never been on Jeopardy, but I have put a 4yo to bed, so I know what it's like to be asked about things you never even heard of."

"5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe."

"A bad metaphor is like a cucumber with a parachute."

"Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. ""You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance."" ""The fire and theft and burglary I can understand,"" said the other,"