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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward Cuz that's how I roll.."

"What is the temperature of the average coffin? 6 Below"

"My psychiatrist asked me how I became so patient. I told him I was waiting on Half Life 3 to come out."

"If you're fat, don't sugar coat it Because you'll probably eat that too! In the midst of this craziness I saw this gem. Not my joke. Credit to everyone who thought of it first."

"What do you call a yellow Oreo? An orienteo!"

"I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though"

"What's a pirate favorite letter? Rape."

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk."

"Asians are such bad drivers I am beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident. Just jacked this from a comment on ask Reddit....thought it should be shared."

"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""