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Joke of the Day

"What's a prostitute's favorite position? Whore-izontal. Zing! This has been a productive day at work."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He came outta the cupboard ."

"""ranch goes with everything"" i whisper while placing a bottle of ranch in grandma's coffin"

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas. Now I'm fucking stuck taking care of a puppy."

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"I raped someone so hard in a LoL match last night but forgot to record it It's ok. Found it on Pornhub."

"R/jokes Is the place you go when you wanna be put down by a bunch of assholes"

"Someone threw NaCl at me That's a salt"

"[having heart attack] HELP...CAN'T...MOVE ME: Dude, are you ok?! [faintly] CALL...ME...A...DOCTOR ME: Oh, sorry!! Doctor, are you ok?!"

"Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table."