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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes president and keeps up his shenanigans, he could be the first president to be impeached. It would be an un-presidented event in American politics."

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"Why does a dirvorce cost so much? Because it's worth it"
"Why I need feminism A guy once told me that he disagreed with me. This is why I need feminism. He shoudn't be allowed to say that."
"What kind of computer can sing? A Dell."
"So they say rubbing the Buddha statue's belly gives you good luck... ...imagine if you sucked his dick."
"How do you stop a baby from walking in circles? Pin its other hand to the ground."
"The word of the day is legs... Lets go home and spread the word"
"What do you call Islamic death metal? Allahu Rockbar."
"""You've lost some weight."" sounds suspiciously like ""You were a disgusting fatso before, but I was too nice to say so.""."
"The truck in front of me is hauling a fridge. Freezer just flew open and a chicken nugget hit my windshield. Day. Made."