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Joke of the Day

"My calendar says there's a new moon tomorrow. The old one was there for 4.5 billion years; you'd think people would be more excited."

Next Joke
 
"deeply analyzing what you meant when you texted ""k"""
"""Can I get a do-over?"" - Me, playing golf, tennis (or pretty much any sport), taking a test, having sex, making a speech, living my life...."
"I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating"
"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan"
"Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces? Because it doesn't even lift."
"Two Deer in a Gay Bar Two deer walk out of a gay bar ones says to the other, "" I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there"""
"I won't forget what my Grandad said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"How do you kill a blonde? Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer"
"Dude, relax. Nothing wrong with a little experimenting. You're making a brokeback mountain out of a brokeback molehill."