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Joke of the Day

"My wife gave birth to twin boys the other day. And I've decided to name them Jerry and Forgery."

"The new Pope So now that the new Pope is Argentinian they may say that they own Vatican City because they had a temporary residance there. It's not like it has happend before."

"I tried finding work as a Saudi executioner... ...but I couldn't get ahead."

"If you enjoy sitting around and doing nothing, I'm your girl."

"What was the name of the hobbit who went to get frozen yoghurt? Froyo Baggins."

"Most men know that women dream of having two men at the same time. But they don't understand that in those fantasies one man is cleaning the house and the other one is cooking."

"What do you call two fake number fours next to each other? Fauxty faux"

"Lost my wristwatch at a party once. A guy stepped on it while sexually harassing a girl. I punched him straight in the chin, knocking him out. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch."

"She can argue for 4 hours straight... but ten minutes into a blowjob and her jaw hurts."

"What do anal and spinach have in common? Well, if you hated it as a kid, you're probably not gonna like it as an adult."