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Joke of the Day

"I bet Billy Joel only needs to type in ""Cad"" before his phone's dictionary chimes in and recommends ""Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac."""

"I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off it's hard"

"What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses? Hippocampus!"

"Many people think a pirates favourite letter is R. It's actually the C"

"What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment? A booby trap"

"[pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*"

"He's Fat! He's Skinny! Two Brothers, TOO FUNNY! Adam Sandler AND Adam Sandler in ""Bud is Thicker than Walter!"""

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat."

"What's the holiest, French color? Sacred blue!"

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie into it!"