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Joke of the Day

"Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friends Inside of a dog, it is warm and moist."

"Hey have you ever tried puppy love? Yeah but it doesn't work there assholes are too small."

"What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer."

"What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair? Cancer"

"A lawyer, a high jumper and an Irish man walk up to a bar The lawyer passed it, the high jumper jumped over it and the Irish man went in and got wasted."

"What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer"

"I can eat an untied shoe lace and poop it out tied I shit you knot!"

"Live each day as if everyone loves you because self-delusion is underrated as a coping mechanism."

"The doctor had to remove my fungal infection. It's a shame. It was really starting to grow on me."