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Joke of the Day
"I love how you can tell how slutty a girl is by the size of her hoop earrings."
Next Joke
"Anyone hear of the rapist mechanic? They say he screws, nuts, and bolts."
"Word. ~ Microsoft."
"Checking my phone one more time before I go to sleep because apparently 533 times wasn't enough today."
"Q: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? A: They're making headlines!"
"Bill Gates is so rich... he hired cancer to kill Steve Jobs."
"If Betty White killed someone, I wouldn't turn her in."
"They developed a new type of cough syrup for Elephants with bad tusks. They call it, Robituskin'."
"A sausage and an egg in a frying pan..... The sausage says to the egg: 'fucking hell its hot in here.' The egg says to the sausage: 'fucking hell, a talking sausage.'"
"Those who say ""two wrongs don't make a right"" have obviously never tried ranch dressing on french fries."