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Joke of the Day

"I failed a Health and Safety course at work today... One of the questions was: ""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""Fuckin' big ones"" was apparently the wrong answer. Edit: grammer"

"How do you kill a redneck? Wait until he's fucking his sister, then cut the brakes on his house."

"ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately! KIDS: ... STAFF: ... ALBUS: I can't control them."

"What's the difference between a straight man's moustache and a gay man's moustache? The smell."

"I always wanted to be a seamstress... But I could never mend-straight."

"Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts."

"Today, my girlfriend told me on the phone that we were breaking up. I went outside and the signal improved."

"BRO DOCTOR ""Well, looks like we're going to have to check that prostate lol no homo"" BRO DOCTOR"

"Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone"

"Which vitamine are feminists missing? D"