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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the drug addict who went to court for flipping off the cops? It was a case of two birds one stoner"

"I had to stop watching An Inconvenient Truth after 20 minutes. Can't stand movies with that much gore."

"Argon walks into a bar... The barman says ""Get the hell out!"" Argon doesn't react."

"I never reflect more on the terrible things I might have said or done than when you take longer than 10 minutes to text me back."

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."

"What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro? zika blyat"

"Did you hear about Disney's new Star Wars/ Highlander crossover? The tag line is ""There can be Obi-Wan."""

"What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. "

"Why is Lance Armstrong a good citizen? Because he is always recycling"