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Joke of the Day

"""I'm sorry, sir, cash or credit only."" The rain sadly puts its check away. 21st century technology has not been kind to him."

"What was the scary guy on Tinder doing? Intimidating others."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat with a terrible leak? Cuatro sinko"

"I'm just now realizing most blink-182 lyrics don't make any sense I guess this is growing up..."

"A little girl asked her father ""Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"" And he replied ""No there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"""

"Tectonic Plates One tectonic plate said to the other, ""I'm addicted to crack"". The other said, ""It's your fault"""

"If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup."

"China recently banned girls from eating bananas on live streams... so now the people with hemorrhoids can now get off from girls eating raspberries instead."

"Why is your face all scratched ? My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !"

"How do you get people to quit smoking? Cut off their lips"