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Joke of the Day

"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it is very TIME CONSUMING. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LMFAO STFU"

"HUGE shout out to Will Smith! With out him we never would have survived the alien attack in '96. Happy Independence Day!"

"Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows chocolate fudge cake..."

"What did one bridge say to another? ""Fuck you"" (They were arch enemies)"

"there there son *crouches down & wipes his tears* its ok, dont go crying over spilt mil-- YOU GOT IT ON THE XBOX!? no NO. call 911. CALL 911"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a convicted serial sex offender? Convicted"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"A steak pun... ... is a rare medium well done."

"I'd love to show a fountain to someone from the 3rd world: ""This is our water showing off contraption. We also throw our extra money in it"""

"What do mutiny and an orgasm have in common? A sudden surge of seamen."