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Joke of the Day

"I WISH I WERE PAC-MAN SO WHEN I GOT UPSET I COULD EAT SOME CHERRIES & EVERYONE AROUND ME WOULD TURN INTO GHOSTS"

"What do you call a happy cow? Laughing stock. What do you call a grumpy cow? A Feminist"

"What idiot coined the term ex-fiance Instead of near-Mrs Edit: ex fiancee. I'm not as smart as I thought I was.."

"I'm gonna nail horseshoes on my nikes and gallop behind joggers"

"I caught a mosquito in my hand.. It sucked."

"Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head."

"HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...a raise? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to report a hacking!"

"What do you call a man, with no arms or legs, in the middle of the ocean? fucked"

"A wise man once said nothing."

"Do you sell bloodpants? ""Nope"" Shitpants? ""Nope"" Droolpants? ""Nope"" Sweatpants? ""Right this way..."""