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Joke of the Day
"Do you have a hole in your sock? Then how the hell did you get your foot in it?"
Next Joke
"My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!"
"[at dentist] so your X-rays look grea- *phone rings* hold on *on phone* a new engine? jesus, ok so as I was saying you have several cavities"
"I get Grumpy when I run out of Dopey."
"I love Mondays... It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class."
"Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly. They're just fission for compliments."
"Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too"
"Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus."
"This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water. Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage."
"What do fish smoke? Seewead"