67814
Joke of the Day
"""No more self-deprecating tweets,"" I whisper fatly."
Next Joke
"He may have a nice car but I have a fast sleigh"
"I had a friend from Ukraine. Now he's from Russia."
"They say if you ever get attacked by a shark you should punch it in the nose which is easy cause imagine how composed you would be."
"The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone."
"Back in my day we didn't have leaderboards or RTs. We just tweeted for fun. Uphill both ways. In the snow."
"I woke my SO up with a bj. She didn't seem to appreciate it."
"What did the policeman say to the jumper? Pullover"
"Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy."
"If I was a vampire, pretty sure I'd find a way to cover blood in cheese."