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Joke of the Day

"[playing pictionary] Her: A circle..a ring...a diamond ring...a diamond engagement ring...OMG YES I'LL MARRY YOU! Him: Its a door knocker."

"What did one pizza tell the other pizza? A cheesy pun."

"People without profile photos, put your photo up 'cause there's no way you're as fat as we're all imagining."

"Honey can you buy me a new phone? What about the other one? He's buying me a tablet."

"Form Corbas En hassas ogunumuz olan Aksam Yemegi bize daha cok agrlk veren ve kilo aldrma ihtimalini en yuksek buldugumuz ogundur."

"How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them."

"I just got a part in a movie about dog walking I'm playing the lead"

"Check up time. I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again."

"GOD: let's make an armored raccoon that turns into a bowling ball ANGEL: but why wou- GOD: and we'll call it an armadillo for some reason"

"Ovulation jokes aren't funny. Period."