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Joke of the Day
"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Oh, wait, they're done."
Next Joke
"If you're American outside of the bathroom, what are you inside it? European"
"Moth balls Q: What do you have if you have a mothball in one hand, and a mothball in the other hand? A: A really big moth!"
"What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car? Stop beating a dead hearse!"
"I can't believe my kamikaze joke crashed and burned like that!"
"[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] ""It doesn't matter if its a dog, it's still called a cat scan"""
"Microsoft Word just suggested that I change ""you're"" to ""you is"" so yes, I am very very afraid of what the future of education holds."
"Police officer to a driver: ""OK, driver's license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle."" Driver: ""Nah, I've already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain's cap?"""
"[job interview] ""I'll never hire you"" ME: [swordfighting a field mouse] Is it cuz I'm swordf- NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING TO A FIELD MOUSE"
"Yo mama so fat... She models for the atlas"