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Joke of the Day

"I was at the doctor today and he told me he needed a urine sample, a stool sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear."

"What can't you spell without the letters p-e-n-i-s? Happiness... you dirty bastards"

"What do Michael Jackson and Mervyn's have in common? They're both dead."

"What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar? May I push your stool in?"

"My father always told me, he liked his women like he liked his sunglasses. Sitting on his face."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"Why are cowboys uncircumcised? So they have a place to put their chewing tobacco when they eat."

"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow and gargle."

"[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden.."

"Have you heard of the band 150 megabytes? No? Not surprised, they don't have any gigs yet."