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Joke of the Day
"Why are gays never late for hotel check out? Because they get their shit packed the night before"
Next Joke
"What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects? dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss"
"How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more."
"[At the register] ""Find everything ok?"" ""No I figured I'd get in line, pay for just a few things, then start the process all over again."""
"How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite? Namaste home tonight."
"I've decided to sell my Hoover ..... it was just collecting dust"
"OBAMA IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!! ME: OMG *clutches guns* [7 years later] ME (frustratedly checking my watch): This guy is taking forever"
"How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West? By Bony Express."
"You: Knock knock, Me: Who's there?"
"What did Vladimir name his member? Put-in. (In a Russian accent)"