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Joke of the Day
"Somebody told me my clothes were gay. I said ""Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."""
Next Joke
"Dandelions are just like regular lions, except they wear ascots."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean."
"I like my Coffee how i like my women Hot."
"What is Six Point Nine? A good time ruined by a period."
"Why do college girls only hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even."
"Took a while, but I finally found the perfect background pic to update my desktop with. So yeah, totally carpe'd the shit out of this diem."
"I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."
"Doctor: you gotta cut back on the drinking Me: but why? D:*lifts up x-ray* says here your liver has officially been sponsored by Grey Goose"
"I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, ""No, one drag is enough."""