67266
Joke of the Day
"I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that."
Next Joke
"What do you call a man who worships his own scrotum? Sacrilegious."
"Your mother is such a whore... Groupon is sending me discount rates."
"Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together."
"*eye of the tiger starts to play as I trip & fall down the stairs"
"ME: [sitting on iphone] europe. europe. EUROPE. europe [5 hrs later] ME: ok fine maybe ur right WIFE: what did you think airplane mode meant"
"What does Melania see in Donald Trump? 10 billion dollars and high Cholesterol"
"[Lawyer] ""I can't stress this enough. You cannot plead that you're a wizard ok?"" ""ok"" [Later in court] ""I plead that im a wizard your honor"""
"So a horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies, ""I'm a raging alcoholic and it's destroying my family."""
"If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I just really hope they segregate us by genre."