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Joke of the Day

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!!!"

"Came home and my wife was having sex with some guy in our bed. I confronted her, she denied everything, but I know our bed when I see it."

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. They would eventually find me attractive"

"Jet Steel can't melt dank memes"

"It would be endearing to call Elon Musk... Musk Dear"

"I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend."

"What do you call a torn up wife beater A piece of ""shirt"""

"So Trump says he picked a bunch of great people to run the government... But honestly, I've seen better cabinets at IKEA."

"Was shopping for a toilet. Sales guy showed me the newest model they had in store. It uploads all my shit to Facebook."

"Did you hear what the ridiculous fraction ordered for lunch? I don't know either but I heard she tried to halve split-pea soup and pay with a quarter."