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Joke of the Day

"I want to make a movie where RoboCop gets laid off due to budget cuts and has to work at a Waffle House."

"Son, you can't give me any shit about having to teach me phone or computer skills... ...after all, I taught you how to use a spoon. Props to my old man for that one."

"I love the new sound reddit makes when you upvote a post"

"Why can't you email a photo to a Jedi? Because attachments are forbidden"

"*sees a baby screaming on the plane* wait-- WAIT. WHY IS HE SCREAMING. OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SCREAMING. WHAT DOSE HE KNOW THAT WE DONT"

"They told me I had type ""A"" blood... turns out it was a typo."

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? When your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots."

"What is Asia's favourite sitcom? Everybody loves Ramen."

"Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots."

"I think your first love holds the biggest piece of your heart because they made the first cut."