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Joke of the Day

"What do a telephone and a dog have in common? They both have collar ID."

"With the Germany Argentina final on the way, we will finally know which one of the two Popes is God's favorite."

"Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework"

"[alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee."

"Did you hear about the water that got so angry that he boiled himself? He just had to let off some steam."

"Surprises are always more fun... unless it's a baby. They tend to startle easily, so an ill-timed surprise may actually upset them."

"Physical Doctor gave me a physical and says I have to stop master bating. I ask why? He says ""because I'm giving you a physical"""

"i hate when the news guys say ""our nation's capital"". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is"

"The inventor of auto-correct has died His funfair will be next monkey."

"Joe, why haven't you tossed your hat in the ring for the presidential election? I'm Biden my time."