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Joke of the Day

"Had a terrifying lucid dream of getting stabbed and slashed from behind with a huntersknife & people making fun of me for being uneasy after"

"Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes"

"Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs did the also go up?"

"How did the farmer find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying."

"What I don't understand is, how did Jabba the Hutt become so powerful? He's just a fat, lecherous crook. Wait"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes. A FSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"American A man from Israel got his citizenship, I guess you could say he Israeli American now"

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"[lights focus on guy in interrogation room] ""Say it. SAY IT."" *points at sign saying ""Worcestershire Sauce""*"

"Why are farmers the best at what they do? They are out standing in their field."