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Joke of the Day

"11 years ago, Greece won the Euro 2004 Today, they would be happy with 2004 Euro's."

"My grandmother would roll over. My grandmother would roll over in her trench if she knew how much I spent on her funeral."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue when he drank his coffee? ....Because he drank it before it was cool."

"Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth."

"What's a 68? You do me, and I'll owe you 1!!"

"Be like Mario! Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"Girlfriend and I placed a bet to see who was better at Super Smash Bros for the N64 I beat her so badly! I do wish we had a chance to actually play a race before I had to take her to the hospital..."

"What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple."

"i just went to a bar god damn, it was one sharp crowbar."

"""Look, daddy! I'm a doctor!"" ""Did you know that's the same doctor kit I played with as a ki... OMG YOU DIDN'T LICK ANY OF IT, DID YOU?"""