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Joke of the Day

"Fun way to prank Jesus is to invite him snorkeling haha he'd be stuck on top walking on the water while ur underneath having all the fun"

"Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella."

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"Violets are blue, roses are red Violets are blue, roses are red. We're doing it backwards, That's what she said."

"I went to look at tents today. But I didn't buy one. There was nothing before them, there was no pre-tents."

"Lemonade Stand At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"Patient: Doctor please kiss me! Doctor: I am sorry, I can't! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either."

"One time, I wrote down so many double entendres... ...I had to rub one out."

"So I asked my dealer for some coke. He said 'Is Pepsi okay?' It was delicious nevertheless."

"""PSST."" It came from my waffles. ""PSST,"" again. ""What?"" I ask, furtively. ""You look really nice today."" Complimentary Breakfast"