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Joke of the Day

"My signature move, is pulling on a push only door, when attempting to get it for a woman."

"Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises? It drives me nuts."

"When dealing with the police it's important to always remain calm and be white."

"I'll never read pride & prejudice I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me"

"Being a prostitute is like being the heel piece of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one really wants you."

"What do you call a flying bagel? A plane bagel."

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra..."

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but there's only room in your ass for one head, and yours is already there ."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Hunting accident. I think my friend is dead 911: Can you verify that he's dead? *gunshot* Me: Yep, he's dead"

"Women are good for 70 things Cooking and 69"