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Joke of the Day

"Two prostitutes are discussing the hazards of their job One says, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" ""No, but I've been slung around by the tits."""

"Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it..."

"Teacher: Where is the English Channel ? Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up"

"(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher."

"If six years of marriage has taught me anything its that couches are surprisingly comfortable to sleep on."

"Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wongs don't make a white."

"Top Six Uses Of Strategic Planning: 6. Politics 5. Sports 4. Investing 3. Business 2. Military 1. Returning home from guys/girls night out"

"Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message."

"Just remember, you can't please everyone. So just focus on what's important, pleasing me."

"The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you, and you try to understand them in order to best tailor a revenge plot that suits them."