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Joke of the Day
"Why do Republicans oppose Gay Marriage AND Obamacare? Because they hate mandates."
Next Joke
"Why did the hamster die? He just didn't have the wheel to live."
"Hey everyone, my mom's following me on Twitter now, so ixnay on all the eetstway about the ugsdray and exsay and acismray. Thanks"
"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again."
"Jesus was such a hypocrite Preaches waiting for marriage and all that. Meanwhile he just goes and gets nailed 3 times in one day."
"-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life"
"Last year I felt miserable and depressed, but this year I've managed to turn it around. Now I feel depressed and miserable."
"What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky."
"If I were God, I'd totally be cool with you using my name in vain. Feel free to say, ""Oh John"" next time you're cumming ladies."
"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strockin' Off"