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Joke of the Day

"While filling out a survey, I came across the gender option: Canadian... I guess you could say I'm Eh-Sexual."

"Last night my wife started calling me Jeb Bush. I also pull out way to late."

"New users will never know about the old Twitter. I'll tell them stories of it, and how I walked uphill both ways. In the snow."

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""

"What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette? Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr."

"Why don't they teach sex ed and drivers ed at the same time in Mexico? Because it's too hard on the donkey."

"Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket."

"I pulled the trigger on myself... now I'm triggered."

"Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook?"

"do you have a girlfriend dude? Friend: yeah dude! Me: where is she from? Friend: from a different nation. Me: oh really? Which country? Friend: from imagiNATION."