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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf."

"Why are Japanese people all skinny? Because of their national diet."

"Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password."

"Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word."

"What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage."

"Virginity and candy are a lot a like. They require minimal force to take from a child."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one... He's never gonna give you Up."

"My girlfriend used to smoke regularly. Then i slowed down and started using lube."

"Me, as a judge: OK we'll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*"

"80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction."