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Joke of the Day

"Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert There once was a man named Barack Whose re-election came as a shock He raised taxes I pay And turned marriage gay And now he's coming after your Glock"

Next Joke
 
"[ring] Me: Hi Mom: You picked up. Me: I know M: Why Me: You called M: I wanted to leave a message Me: Just tell me M: Hang up [ring] Me: Hi"
"How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree? Wave at him"
"Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young."
" Hey cow You're an all star You are grain fed No hay Hey cow You are ground down Graded U.S. D.A. "
"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."
"How many square feet are in the average NYC apartment? Zero. Feet are feet shaped."
"Lesbian sex is like swimming. [NSFW] It's not hard, and gets you wet."
"Doctor: ""We got your test results back. I'm so sorry--it's Curiosity."" Cat: ""Oh my god..."""
"Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff? She had mittens on."