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Joke of the Day

"My wife said to take the dogs for a walk because they looked like they needed to go out. But I think they're full of crap."

"Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house hammered, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister..."

"If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump."

"I like my coffee like I like my butt hole... Without a penis in it."

"What does a Browns fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers."

"What did the millionaire's friend say when a person made fun of his watch just rolex man"

"I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers."

"Where do you find 100 fat cows? At bingo"

"If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him."

"Why accountants don't read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers."