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Joke of the Day

"How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes? He feinted. (Sorry)"

"I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I've taken a Tern for the Wurst"

"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."

"Tilda Swinton is what happens when a lamp from IKEA becomes self aware."

"A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp... Police are looking into it."

"Do you know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What do you call an abortion at Hogwarts? *Avada kedavra!*"

"You don't need to tell me that I'm not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I'm not a cup of tea, idiot."

"*points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward"

"Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea? Because proper tea is theft."