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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that M. Night Shyamalan is making a new movie about a ninja with a nipple fetish? You'll never see the twist coming"

"Reddit's future:"

"How is the RNC going to wash themselves of the reputation Trump has given them? Lather, Reince, repeat."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.? With a tire gauge."

"Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either."

"Countdown is Dracula's retarded brother."

"So a Jewish pedophile walks up to a kid and says ""Hey want to buy some candy?"""

"Dad: Why are your eyes red, son? Son: I smoke weed, dad. Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot."

"It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever..."