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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)"

"Little Mortie got a real surprise when he barged into his parents' room one night. ""And you slap me for sucking my thumb?"" he screamed."

"How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there."

"I hate it when I'm trying to discreetly pick a wedgie in public and inadvertently end up doing every dance routine from Spice World."

"A guy goes into a Latvian bar with 3 potatoes Walks out with a female entourage that would make Hef proud."

"What does the pedophile jew say to the child? ""Wanna buy some candy?"""

"Why is Spider-Man a bad boyfriend? He's super clingy."

"Knock Knock, Islam Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? Allah who ackbar!!!! ***BOOM***"

"What is a government mandate? When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together."

"Don't call me ""Dad"", please call me by my professional title, ""Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist""."