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Joke of the Day

"4th of july British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea"

"Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related."

"What do you call a female dog with a PH level above 7? A basic bitch"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"There should be a prenatal test to tell if you're gonna have one of those kids with tiny teeth and giant gums."

"What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads."

"I could talk about the atomic structure all day... But I'd rather not Bohr you about it."

"Woman's pant pockets are like their rights. There, but only for show."

"When someone tells me, ""I think of you as family,"" I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago."

"Why did frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snowblower was coming by."