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Joke of the Day

"why do black people only have nightmares? the only one ever to have a dream was shot."

"My friend said my mum was hot. I then punched him and reminded him that we were Americans."

"WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired."

"DOCTOR: I think you have a curvature of the upper spine QUASIMODO: That a diagnosis? D: We need an X-ray to confirm. Right now it's a hunch"

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with feminists."

"All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?"

"It's so cold outside. I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."

"I was going to tell a dull pencil joke but it's pointless"

"According to hotel AC, the difference between 72 degrees and 73 degrees is 40 degrees."