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Joke of the Day

"[Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie."

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult."

"What do you call snacks served at a brothel? whore d'oeuvres"

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a McDonald's burger and a Priest. Answer: none. They both put meat between two 10 year old buns.."

"My friends hate I when I use smiley faces. They're just childish xD"

"Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they're making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first."

"Why is Reggae so popular in Utah right now? Because it was popular in California 10 years ago."

"NSFW My wife demanded that I get a penis enlarger, so I did. .... ....she's 27 and her name is Heather."

"I didn't like this marimba player very much... ...He just had bad vibes."

"Why did the horny girl go to Subway? For a $5 footlong."