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Joke of the Day

"[Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie."

"Thai masseuses are deceitful bitches Give them a chance and they'll walk all over you"

"What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ? Cross mouse cards !"

"Are you a shark, cause I got some swimmers for you to swallow."

"How do you piss off a redditor? This GOD-DAMN joke has been reposted SO many times, and its not even clever in the first place!!! Im super serial guys, knock it off."

"I just realized that my sex life is like my movie habits. I stick it in, lean back, and fall asleep halfway through."

"How do black people die from a drive by? Everytime someone screams ""get down! "" they stand up and start dancing!"

"Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown? The punchline is too long."

"Farmer What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"""

"Hollywood hasn't remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they're okay."