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Joke of the Day

"You know what's odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."

"If I had a gun and 2 bullets and I was alone in a room with you, Hitler, and Stalin, I'd look at you like how the fuck did we get in this situation."

"Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? ""What? Why?"" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. ""It's OUR wedding!"""

"A batman joke Batman and Robin are walking down the street. Robin: Hey Batman, can I tell you a joke? Batman: Sure, Robin. R: Knock, knock B: Who's there? R: NOT YOUR PARENTS"

"Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Nah, I'm just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet."

"Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State... I say let's do it, and find two more new states. Then we'd have 53 states. A nice PRIME number... ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE"

"What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Wet"

"First time I saw a dry erase board I said thats ""remarkable"""

"I'm a journalist. My paper asked if I would write an article about bukkake I said ""I've got it covered""..."