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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? You staple food to the ceiling."

"Free Tibet! With purchase of equal or greater Tibet."

"she : XOXOXOXOX Me : stop cheating babe. You can't play both our turns."

"Look you asked me to be your child's Godfather so don't get pissed at me because I taught him how to break knees and collect debts."

"When the zombie apocalypse finally starts, I am running straight to the graveyard to play the most epic game of whack-a-mole ever."

"If you're American outside of the bathroom, what are you inside it? European"

"So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard."

"I know they took some creative liberties with 'Noah' but I really wasn't expecting that Prius."

"What sound does Reddit make when it blows up? Pao! Edit: Whoa, FP *and* gold. Thank you!"

"Usain Bolt is already in 2016. Happy New Year !"