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Joke of the Day

"""Tim's coming tonight"" ""Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?"" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop"

"My love is like a candle... If you forget about me, I'll burn your fucking house down."

"Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes."

"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""

"To all those people that have ever talked about me behind my back... You discussed me."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? ... Hey, nice belt.."

"I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children."

"I like my women like I like my coffee I hate coffee."

"Probably a lot of horses sitting on couches today talking about how they could have ""gone Derby"" if they hadn't gotten hurt in college."

"Jedi Knights love analogies. ""Metaphors be with you!"""