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Joke of the Day
"Hitler ruined the Charlie Chaplin mustache for everyone."
Next Joke
"ELF: Santa one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen."
"""Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo"" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired."
"I have failed math eleventeen times or so."
"Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown"
"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love to crack open a cold one."
"I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad & iTouch & now iBroke, iHomeless & iRegret."
"Americans are getting stronger Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."
"Being an amputee... On one hand it has its benefits, but on the oth-"
"Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself."