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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the COW that got a promotion? She was out standing in her field. **Edited for political correctness."

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"What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sandwich."
"I hope Joe Biden will run for president in 2020 Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time..... I'm sorry"
"Trainer: OK this week we are cutting carbs. Me: Wait, what - even macaroni & cheese? Trainer: Ya. Me: ...I think we should see other people."
"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"
"If I could choose, I'd like to die like my grandfather, peacefully and in his sleep. Unlike his passengers."
"Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar"
"Q: What did the parent say when the little girl was whining? A: Leave it to peave her."
"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."
"When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me."
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