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Joke of the Day

"What was the first 3D printer? Your butthole! *** This joke is awesome because it was created by a third grader where I teach."

"Scented toilet paper girlfriend: is this toilet paper scented? Me: I'm not sure; my asshole doesn't smell so good"

"dear teenage me, it's the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don't kill yourself it's actually pretty fun"

"But laughing at you Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside."

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"My girlfriend was sucking my dick...... My girlfriend was sucking my dick when she took it out of her mouth and said ""I don't really like the way dicks look."" I said ""Hmmm, it must be about taste"""

"I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say ""Checkmate"" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia."

"What is red, slimy and crawls up your leg? An abortion with home sickness."

"What is another name for sunscreen? SOLution"